Is too modest and private an aim
when you could learn
How to build a home inside a poem
or How to talk a poem into introducing you to her family.
You might instead of merely reading a poem
wish to learn How to bake a poem
for months, then take it from its oven
without burning one finger on it.
How to resist a poem is a hardback volume
invaluable to lovers, soldiers and lachrymose critics.
How to misread a poem is a necessary read
for the salvation of your own poetry,
as is How to make a poem tell the truth
and How to be smarter than a poem.
For those who understand the social occasion of the spoken word,
How to take a poem out to lunch
can become an expensive pleasure and a puzzle for the lips.
The book and video, How to workout with a poem,
comes with Rilke's Panther Brand leotards
and promises eloquent beginnings to new relationships.
You will be relieved to find still in print,
How to put a poem back on the shelf,
And that How to get a refund from a faulty poem
requires a standard form unavailable anywhere.
How to replace the batteries in a poem
should not take more than a minute to understand.